Saturday, October 11, 2008

Self-made Karma?

Karma is a concept that seems to flow naturally with life. And some people really believes in it. I'm not so sure.

Well today, I took a break. I knew that yesterday’s event had taken it toll on me. I went bed, but couldn’t sleep. This morning I was no closer to a solution, but I knew I wouldn’t find one; if I didn’t get up and deal with what life had dealt me. I took a slow approach to the morning. I prepared for the imposing trip to the hospital, and the visit with Linda. The old fight or flight feeling was certainly hanging over me, because I didn’t know what to expect.

Stella and I arrived at the hospital with a travel bag, full of things Linda was going to need. Stella has always hated elevators, I could understand. Karma stuck again. I didn’t know what I did to earn this one. The doors to the elevators opened just fine. We went in just fine. It was the panel on the inside that caused the problem. None of the controls worked. Oh, but the doors had closed with no problem!!! I found myself sitting on the floor of the elevator. I pulled the little door open for the emergency phone; pushed the button. The phone would ring, but to where? I couldn’t be certain, it never connected to anyone. Of course, as soon as Stella saw me doing this she panicked like only an eight year old could. I was trying to hold her, comfort her give her some assurances that we were just fine; while holding my thumb on the alarm button. By the time Stella told me she was feeling sick, she had another reason to panic. The elevator started moving. Why, I don’t know. We were on the ground floor.

Sure enough, we went up. After it came to a stopped, Stella and I were looking at the door, then at each other. After a good minute, the doors finally opened. Stella had tears flowing out of her eyes and was just clinging to me. The two nurses out in the hallways were looking at us like we were aliens. I asked Stella to sit in the chair that nearby and told one of the nurses what had happened. The other nurse was looking to take the same elevator down. As she caught on to what I saying, wisdom set in. We blocked the elevators doors open. I noticed afterwards that we had made it to the forth floor.

I needed the first floor, so I asked “where’s the stairs?” Wisdom was short lived. The nurse, kind as she was, escorted Stella and me to another set of elevators. Stella didn’t like that. She clung to me like a GEO-PET!!! I decided that after this, I would be taking Stella somewhere peaceful and fun Well, we arrived safely and proceeded with our visit.

Linda listened to Stella’s report on the elevator and that seem to help break the tension of the visit. Not a lot was said and we only had 30 minutes to visit.

We left the hospital, with another elevator trip. Where the stairs were, I never found out. But, trust me; I’m going to find them tomorrow! I figured that if bad karma was to blame for events then I was going to create good karma. I don’t know if I believe in the stuff or not. A good attitude and a little effort can fix anything. We left for Thompson Park. We enjoyed a good long walk and shared the camera. Stella likes taking pictures as much as I do. It felt good to just escape everything. I enjoyed her company too. We followed the trails for almost 2 hours. Give Stella credit, she stayed with me and never ran out of energy.

After our walk, I let her play for awhile on the slides and toys they had there. I just sat and watched her play with the other kids. With responsibilities hitting me the gut, I realized the time and knew she should be getting hungry. I was really surprised that I was. I haven’t had an appetite or a desire to eat in several days. We agreed on eating at Dano’s Pizza. It turned out to be the perfect choice for both of us. For some odd reason, I was missing my weekly pizza night. Afterwards, I was feeling content for a change.

I still had one more trip to the hospital to make, before the night was up.

The Physiatrist had changed Linda’s medications around. He also made a statement to the nurse; one that I believe to be all too true and scary at the same time. “If Ken leaves anytime soon, it will be the death of her.” People really need to stop saying things like that. To hell with Karma, I will continue to look to God for solutions.



Melissa said...

dang, sorry the elevators got stuck on you. Must have been scary :(

Tabby said...

Im glad you both got to enjoy the park after that stressful elevator ride. I sure hope Linda is alright, can the doctors give this information so your commander so you do not have to leave?